“Urmph,” I grunt out as I run smack into
someone, face- planting in their chest because I was more worried about saving
the rolls. “Sorr-,” I begin to say and cut myself off as my brain registers the
police badge that is pinned to the chest of the individual I face-planted
Shit, fuck, fuck, fuckity, shit-fuck!
My heart rate kicks up a notch and my
skin turns electric as my body starts to freak out; knowing, this is when it’s
time to run.
“Erm… sorry,” I raise my head slowly,
dreading looking at the guy, “officer…” my words trail off, not because I’m
speechless, but because I can’t breathe.
Did you hear me?
Why can’t I breathe?
Because I know this guy! Omigod, omigod,
“Azaria,” he says my name in a deep
rumbly voice that washes over my skin, making me feel like fairies are dancing
all over my body in jubilation, such is the epic-ness that is his voice.
He leans his head down (way down, because
he is so much taller than me), I look up and notice a halo form around his face
from the sun shining in the window, his caramel colored eyes flash with
amusement as his perfect lips form a half smile. I suck in a breath. (Yep. I’m a fan of the half smile. Sign me
up, for I would love to have that mouth smiling against some very intimate
areas of my body.)
Oh, my God, he smells so good. My body,
completely of its own accord (I swear!) moves closer to him, making it easier
to get a better whiff of whatever body wash it is that makes me want to take a
chunk out of him with my teeth. My ‘gina begins to quiver; the walls vibrating
with fury at not having him the other night.
His head moves to the side of mine where
he whispers, “I missed you the other morning.” Holy donkey nuts his voice is
Oh. My. God.
This can’t be happening. Nope. Not
“O- officer,” I stumble over my words
trying to think of something to say, and reminding myself that this, after all,
is a cop.
Not just any cop, of course.
According to his nameplate he is ‘Chief
Cole’. Are you kidding me!? Why
couldn’t he just be a gentleman and ignore the whole situation like a normal
American!? No, he goes straight for it. Don’t hold back.
Okay, now how do I play this? I obviously
can’t use the whole ‘Do I know you?’ routine. My ‘gina quiver made sure of
that. I can’t just walk out and ignore him… Can I? Hmm…
I don’t think, I’m capable of pulling off
the whole ‘Show- respect-to-the-officer-because-I’ve-had-too-many-run-ins-with-
the-law-and-I’m-a-bad-person’ routine either.
Okay. Well, that only leaves one option.
I step back, straighten my purse on my
shoulder, get a better grip on my box of rolls and look him straight in the eye
(with a polite, yet detached voice and face) and say, “Chief Cole. Nice to see
And, ever so elegantly, I step around him
and head out the door.
Whew! Close one.
Shit. He followed me outside! Now what do
Yep. Just… keep… walking.
“Ree,” he says as his fingers wrap around
my upper arm, halting my awesome walking away skills.
He turns me around to look at him and I
do a quick peripheral scan of the area to see how many onlookers we have to
what is about to go down; not many. Yet.
“Did you really just walk away from me…
again?” he asks astonished.
“Did it look like I walked away from
you?” I ask, feeling a bit like a society snooty bitch and deciding to go with
I notice a few people start to come out
onto the sidewalks to see what is going on. Great.
Well, they were bound to learn that I moved back sometime. May as well give
them the show they expect from me.
“Yeah. It did,” his voice and face are
“Oh, well. Then I guess I did,” I shrug
my shoulders and smile at him, this time sounding more like a dingbat valley
Someone call the shrink! Chief Cole is giving Ree
Dissociative Identity Disorder!