First love. Last love. Only love. Well, at least that’s how Ryder Collins thinks of the girl he lost because of his addiction ten years ago. While Ryder is battling the demons of his past to save his future, he will start to question the nightmare that has become his reality and the illusive blue dream that he swears started it all.
I am still stunned and in awe even days after I finished reading Blue Dream. I don’t recall having a book move me in quite the same way as this one did! It’s raw, real, emotional, beautiful and heartbreaking, just like the main character, Ryder.
“Your past doesn’t have to dictate or destroy your future. If you use it correctly, it can do the opposite. It can inspire and change it. However, that choice is yours.”
At one time, Ryder and Presley thought they had it all. Despite who or what tried to come between them, they would beat it and be together forever. However, that wasn’t to be. Years later, Ryder is in yet another rehab facility. Presley is very successful professionally yet in a relationship that does nothing for her. Ryder and Presley have never forgotten one another…not the love…not the pain. As the two have to face their pasts, will they finally let go of the past and be able to live again, even if they are apart?
Presley was always Ryder’s addiction; he could never get enough of her. Yet, he allowed outside forces to pull them apart. I have never hated yet loved a character as I did Ryder. He not only rejected her, but he destroyed her. He was selfish and self-centered. As with any addiction, he couldn’t leave her alone and kept dragging her into his madness. To heal himself, he developed another addiction to help him cope with his pain. The one thing, drugs, he turned to help him ended up destroying him and Presley in the process. As much as I wanted to hurt him, I loved and wanted to protect him like she did. I fell in love with Presley, and I enjoyed seeing her remember the girl she once was.
Blue Dream was different from the other books I’ve read by Xavier Neal, but I have to say, this is my favorite from her. She gives an honest, real, and raw look at addiction…not only the effects on the addict but on their loved ones as well. Sometimes, it’s easy to forget the person and only see the disease because of the self-destructiveness of the user. Through her flashbacks of their early days, readers get to see Ryder before he let the darkness have everything. The icing on the cake was the surprise appearance of one of my favorite characters from one of her other series. Neal continues to surprise me with every book she writes! Not only was this my favorite by her, but it’s a book on the very top list of favorite books EVER read. Looking forward to the next stop in Ryder’s and Presley’s journey!