Graham is my brother’s best friend. He’s always been my protector and my confident because he accepts me the way I am—and not many do. I can’t imagine not having him in my life.
Our weekend together was supposed to be a celebration. I graduated from college, Graham got engaged and signed with a pro football team, and my brother landed his dream job. It should have been the best time of our lives.
Except that the weekend started with me walking in on Graham’s fiancée going down on my brother.
I complicated the situation by having sex with Graham after that, but I wanted to comfort him and, damn, when I saw desire in his eyes—for me—I couldn’t say no. I’ve wanted him for so long.
Now he doesn’t want to see me. He says he has a darker side he needs to protect me from.
Where do we go from here? Do I try to pretend to be his friend again or push him to open up to me and possibly lose him forever?
Sleeping with one of my best friends was not exactly a brilliant idea. It made things complicated, and I didn’t do anything that threw my life into chaos. The fiancee her brother, Jack, had stolen had been part of my life plan, one more step I was taking to be somebody. Granted, I hadn’t been in love with my intended bride, but I didn’t really know how to love anybody
I pushed to achieve more.
I battled my way to the top of the heap in my pro football career..
I’m a total dick, and I don’t want Lauren to see the side of me that would trample over anybody to work my way up in the world.
Lauren sees me as a hero, a title I’d never gain with anybody else in my life, so I wanted to keep her sheltered from the hard realities of my life. I wanted her to continue to think I was nice guy when I was really just the opposite.
We never should have crossed the line of going from friends to lovers.
There’s too much Lauren doesn’t know about me, and I care enough about her that I don’t want her to share my pain and the darkness that never sees daylight inside me.
I want her, but she’s a woman I can never have. She’s too smart, too sweet, and way too good for a guy like me.
Unfortunately, pushing her away becomes much more difficult than I’d planned…
Specific moments tend to embed onto your psyche. They are so traumatic, so painful, they instantly imprint onto your long-term memory.
This was destined to be one of those moments. If I survived. If my ability to breathe returned.
I clenched the doorknob as my brother scrambled to cover his naked ass with a pillow. He swore and told me to get out.
Holy shit, nothing will ever be the same.
Hope, the woman whose mouth was inhaling my brother’s cock, scrambled to retrieve her clothing from the floor. Her face was tomato-red. It should be. She’s engaged to Graham Morgan, my brother’s best friend.
Or she was.
“My lesson was canceled.” My voice was strangled as were my insides.
“You should have said something,” Jack said in a tone he’d used once when we were much younger and I’d caught him downloading porn on my computer.
That memory was also embedded.
I’m not a prude, but certain societal codes of behavior should be adhered to. One: Not violating my computer or—ew—my room because you’re grounded from the Internet.
“I’m sorry—” I stopped; I wasn’t sorry. I was numb. I waited for Jack to break out in a smile. It had to be a prank. Graham and Hope’s wedding invitation had arrived two days ago. Mine was secured on the refrigerator at Dad’s place with a heart magnet. We were in Aspen to celebrate the pending nuptials as well as my graduation and Jack’s promotion. “What are you doing, Jack?”
He shook his head without answering, and I pitied him. He usually wasn’t an asshole, at least not as assholey as he appeared with a pillow clutched to his genitals as if his nudity was the big issue.
Clothing in hand, Hope dashed from the living room, down the hall, and to the master bedroom. I wanted to escape, too, so no judgment on my behalf.
“Hope,” Jack bellowed.
She didn’t stop.
He grabbed his clothing and charged after her.
A cold burst of air brought a flurry of snow through the opened door. It instantly melted on the dark wooden floor of the luxury chalet Graham had rented.
We had spent weekends in Aspen, although never in a place so nice. During high school, Jack and I had scraped our pennies and rented the best discounted rooms we could afford. Graham had joined us, but we’d refused his money. He’d never talked much about his home life, but we knew it wasn’t good. Eventually, he’d stopped arguing and simply swore he’d get a huge NFL contract and repay us someday.
He finally had, and the expense of this chalet probably balanced the account.
On autopilot, I closed the door, unzipped my jacket, and hung it in the closet. I peeled off my boots and neatly placed them on the mat. I should have sought the warmth of the blazing fire in the stone hearth, but I still had the visual of my brother and Hope sprawled in front of it.
I shook my head.
That’s an image that can’t be unseen.
The kitchen seemed like a safe destination. I poured a glass of Merlot, and even though I wasn’t a drinker, I finished it off in one long gulp.
This can’t be happening. I gripped the counter behind me. Graham had trust issues. Jack and I were the only family he had. Jack, how could you do something this stupid? This cruel?
I poured another glass and downed half. My stomach churned in warning.
Voices in the living room forced me to abandon my wine and walk toward them. Although I couldn’t make out what they were saying at first, they were obviously arguing.
Hope dropped her luggage in the foyer and retrieved her coat from the closet. I stood, silently observing. “I have to get out of here,” she said desperately. When she realized I was there, she said, “I’m sorry. Graham is on his way. I should tell him not to come, but—” She covered her face with her hands. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
I might have felt sorry for her if I weren’t still trying to erase a certain image from my mind. It was still disgustingly vivid. Jack wrapped his arms around her, an act that angered me.
“You’re upset. You can’t drive like this,” Jack pleaded.
“I have to. I need to think. This isn’t me. I don’t do things like this.” She looked for confirmation from me, but I looked away. I hadn’t known her long enough to refute or support her claim, nor did I want to be put in that position.
“It’s going to be okay. I’ll drive you,” Jack said, as he cupped her face between his hands.
My voice finally functioned. “What about Graham?”
Jack turned to acknowledge my presence. I expected him to be angry with me, but his face held a pained expression instead. “I’ll drive Hope to the airport then come back. He’s still a few hours out.”
“I should be the one to tell him,” Hope said, although she didn’t look or sound convinced.
“No, we’ve been friends our whole lives. I’ll tell him,” Jack said firmly.
How noble of him. I wanted to slap him. His declaration had the opposite effect on Hope. She melted against him, and I wanted to vomit. There were many words I could have let fly, but none would have helped the situation.
I turned to walk away.
“Lauren,” Jack said as he approached me. Whispering to keep Hope from hearing, he said, “Don’t say anything to Graham if he beats me here. Tell him we were out when you arrived.”
“I won’t lie to him,” I said forcefully, brave from my wine buzz.
“Then drive home now.”
My mouth gaped. I didn’t know this Jack. “What if Graham gets here before you? Don’t you think he’ll worry if no one is here or answering his calls?”
The door opened, and Hope slipped out.
I started to tell him what I thought of his plan, but he walked away.
He grabbed his coat and swung the door open. “Listen, I fucked up. You don’t need to tell me how badly. Don’t say anything to Graham, okay? I’ll make this right. I swear.”
He slammed the door before I had a chance to agree or tell him to go to hell.
I grabbed my cell and brought up Graham’s number. He deserved to know what had happened. He deserved a chance to talk it out with Hope if that was what he wanted.
I stopped in front of the fire without calling him. I paused, trying to understand my feelings. My anger had dissolved; I felt relieved—almost happy.
That was as unnerving as seeing Jack and Hope together.
Graham was my honorary brother from another mother, my protector, and even my confidant. Jack’s betrayal would cut Graham deeply, and my heart should be breaking for him.
Leaving my phone on the mantel, I went to my room to pack. No matter who told Graham, chances were he would hate all of us, including me, simply for bearing witness. He’d cut members of his family out of his life for that very crime.
I tried imagining my life without Graham but couldn’t.
Confused and disgusted with myself, I transferred my belongings into my luggage, pausing when I saw my reflection in the bureau mirror. I told myself my feelings were irrelevant. Graham had never looked at me the way he looked at Hope.
I wasn’t in her league. On my best day, I was cute. On my worst, I was a slightly overweight, bespectacled nerd with awkward social skills.
Many people spend their entire lives trying to stand out. I only wanted to blend in. Strategically, I had learned to keep the majority of my thoughts to myself. Sharing them had never made my life better.
At age seven I pinpointed the error in a cartoon character’s attempt at Fermat’s Last Theorem, a problem that had taken mathematicians until 1994 to solve, and sought to discuss it. Not having the mathematical vocabulary to properly express how I would have solved it, I’d asked my teacher, and was instantly transferred to a school for the gifted.
I graduated from high school at fourteen, had an undergraduate degree in applied mathematics by seventeen, and my PhD in condensed matter physics by twenty. Whether it was what I wanted or what I was told I should want, I was still unsure. When I requested a year off to find myself, I was directed to therapy. Some good came from that experience. I learned to value my emotions even when they didn’t match the expected. Feelings weren’t wrong, actions were.
I also met my best friend, Kelley. She was interning at the practice where I paid for two sessions, debated the basic principles of psychology for two more, then on my clinician’s prodding, went on to formally study it.
In retrospect, the suggestion to get my own degree if I thought I knew so much might have been sarcastic, but I wrote a dissertation to support my views and had an additional diploma a year later. Unlike my clinician, Kelley found my questions invigorating. She defined friendship as two people bringing out the best in each other. We were still close even though she had gone off to college in California to finish her studies, leaving us to communicate only by phone for now. Besides Graham, she was the only person who accepted me as I was.
On impulse, I retrieved my phone from the mantel and called her. No answer. I checked the time. It was early enough that she might be in class. I left her a voice message—a long, detailed update that included a trip to the kitchen for another glass of Merlot.
Coming Soon From Author J.S. Scott – Billionaire Unloved
Available February 27th 2018
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Coming Soon from Author Ruth Cardello – Insatiable Bachelor Available February 22nd 2018
A brand new series set in a whole new world.
Women are a perk of my lifestyle. I work hard. I deserve to play
harder. But I didn’t get on the Forbes List of Rising Entrepreneurs by
getting lost in the baggage and disruption that comes with dating. I’ve
seen dozens of men fail when they fall in love. Pathetic.
why I chose the Bachelor Tower. It was designed by a genius, my hero:
the late, Garry F. Sinclair. He created an all-male haven for ambitious
men who want to live like kings and play by their own rules. Casino
nights, a fully equipped gym and lap pool, cigar and Scotch bar, and a
media room with screens the size of the average movie theater. The list
is endless. I easily network with men trying to launch their careers or
those at the top who want to stay hungry. The best part: the tower
attracts women, beautiful women who hang out in the lobby bar and vie
for an invite upstairs. Easy, like fishing in a barrel.
Until Sinclair dies and Penny Fuller moves into the apartment next to me because the new owner doesn’t share his vision.
agrees Penny can’t stay. I don’t want to get involved, but she doesn’t
understand the lengths my fellow building mates will go to to get her
out. She’s not only irresistibly sexy and painfully optimistic, she’s
also in real danger.
Siding with her would be career suicide.
Betraying her was never my intention.
J.S. “Jan” Scott is a New York Times, Wall Street Journal and USA
Today bestselling author of steamy romance. She’s an avid reader of all
types of books and literature. Writing what she loves to read, J.S.
Scott writes both contemporary steamy romance stories and paranormal
romance. They almost always feature an Alpha Male and have a happily
ever after because she just can’t seem to write them any other way! She
lives in the beautiful Rocky Mountains with her husband and two very
spoiled German Shepherds.
Ruth Cardello hit the New York Times and USA Today Bestsellers
Lists for the first time back in 2012. Millions of sales are evidence
that her her books are akin to potato chips, addictive from the first
one. She has created a multi-series billionaire world with a combination
of escapism and realism that has gained her a faithful following of
What Kindle Reviewers write about her:
“Wow hot at every page. Heart stopping, fear raging, mind blowing wonderful.”
a true fan of Ms. Cardello. I ran on to her first book a few years back
and have been hooked ever since. I could go on and on about the story
like of this book, but I’m not. All of her books are total page turners,
unique, heart wrenching, and I love them all. There isn’t two alike in
the bunch and I feel like i know the characters personally. I personally
read 97 authors books. And I buy every book they put out. This author
is in my top 10. Great job and keep them coming.”
series. Got me to start reading again. I look forward to the next book.
Thank you for giving me the love of reading back.”
was born the youngest of 11 children in a small city in northern Rhode
Island. She spent her young adult years moving as far away as she could
from her large extended family. She lived in Boston, Paris, Orlando, New
York–then came full circle and moved back to New England. She now
happily lives one town over from the one she was born in. For her,
family trumped the warmer weather and international scene. She
was an educator for 20 years, the last 11 as a kindergarten teacher.
When her school district began cutting jobs, Ruth turned a serious eye
toward her second love- writing and has never been happier. When she’s
not writing, you can find her chasing her children around her small farm
or connecting with her readers online.